Chick-fil-a CEO Dan Cathy (hehe, you're last name is a girl's name, sir) comes out of the closet as you're stereotyped gay-hating Christian and his company sees record sales in the wake of the media shitstorm. Which I have deemed a shitstorm due to the amount of anal leakage that was mistaken for words from both sides of the argument.
Lance Armstrong,
seven time winner of the tour-of-france (come on people...calling it the tour-de-france is like calling a cheeseburger a fromageburger. Granted the words tour and france are the same in both languages...come on, we're Amurecanz), finally stops fighting the legal battle (which many assume to be an admission of guilt) and donations to his cancer charity LIVESTRONG skyrocket.
So today I have decided that from this point on I am going to tell the truth.
Friends. I will not apologize for whatever I have done. Nor will I apologize for any of the statements I have made in the past whatever they were. My alleged actions, whatever they may be, are merely a fabrication of those who wish to take down what you and I believe to be self-evident. They are trying to bully me into yielding, and agreeing with whatever they are saying. So from this point on I'm going to focus on my side business and my recently started charity, both of which started about 5 minutes ago, but that I believe every one will want to contribute to and support. I'm sure whatever I said was offensive to some. And whatever I did may be considered reprehensible. But with your help I'm sure we can create a big enough media shitstorm that people to give me money for whatever stupid reason.
Thank You. America.
And keep up the good work.
So today I have decided that from this point on I am going to tell the truth.
Friends. I will not apologize for whatever I have done. Nor will I apologize for any of the statements I have made in the past whatever they were. My alleged actions, whatever they may be, are merely a fabrication of those who wish to take down what you and I believe to be self-evident. They are trying to bully me into yielding, and agreeing with whatever they are saying. So from this point on I'm going to focus on my side business and my recently started charity, both of which started about 5 minutes ago, but that I believe every one will want to contribute to and support. I'm sure whatever I said was offensive to some. And whatever I did may be considered reprehensible. But with your help I'm sure we can create a big enough media shitstorm that people to give me money for whatever stupid reason.
Thank You. America.
And keep up the good work.
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