Foot in mouth? No problem. Just keep feeding it through. It'll come out eventually.

Dear Mitt Romney:

I know you're having a tough time right now. Its rough running for President of the United States. People always taking your words and not spinning them. Take for instance the whole 47% thing. #47percent if you are on twitter. I know you are because you bought a few thousand twitter followers. And we can't forget about you're whole debacle with that Libya mess. How were you suppose to know that tweeting an attack towards Obama when America was mourning the loss of an Ambassador was a bad thing. Opportunity knocked. You answered. Again and again.

At this point, you're basically running against yourself. And so is your running mate, Paul Ryan. And that's difficult. So, I understand what you are doing completely. I get it. Secretly campaigning for Obama is the best move you can make.

What's that? You aren't running for Obama? What about all those things I mentioned, or the fact that every time you open your mouth or do anything it either seems disingenuous or forced. Kind of like what those miners must have felt in that rally. I could keep going but what would be the point. If you wanted to win you would come out against the "voter fraud laws, you know, the ones that will keep Jim Cramer's father from voting. Maybe people would see that you are actually paying attention to the 47 percent. You don't have to come out against it hard, maybe create an event where you go out and personally meet people and help them with the process. Something that makes you appear human. I don't know what else to tell you though. I guess stop taking your advice from these people.

So, I'm going to cut this short. I'm kind of tired of hyperlinking stuff. (If you are reading this now, thanks. I needed someone to read the first draft).  I could go on for  a while, going as far back as your first run for president. I'd rather not.

Keep up the good work, Mitt Romney. Your gaffs, goofs, and seemingly oblivious statements are helping people make a decision in what started out as a really tight election.

Oh yeah and if you like reading funny nonpolitical stuff...

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